I was reading an article in today’s Parade magazine about how kids can teach us to eat better. It touched on a topic that hits close to home for most food addicts.

Often with someone who has a food addiction or anyone who is working to lose some weight, it is family and friends who present the greatest challenges.

Food saboteurs may come in different shapes and sizes, but most of the ones I’ve met are not overweight.

They seem to have the collective goal of getting us to eat things that will inevitably trigger our food addiction and yank us off plan.

Why bully someone into eating something you know will cause them to fall off the wagon? It doesn’t make sense. Family and friends should support you, not use the relationship to pull rank or shame you into doing something they know you don’t want to do.

It happens all the time. When drinking was expected of any respectful guest back in the 70’s, I was continually barraged with demands that I join the party so I didn’t make the hostess look bad.

Being a non-drinker, this made me feel embarrassed and irritated. It ruined many evenings for me. Later, when I began using food to stuff down my feelings, I considered myself lucky that I was only a food addict and not an alcoholic.

Today’s article made an important point. Kids turn down food if they don’t want it. They don’t worry about offending people.

Joy Bauer’s article rightly points out that adults usually eat what’s put in front of them. Add a little coaxing or subtle bullying and there goes the trigger.

So, don’t be afraid to offend. Be polite, but don’t eat something you don’t really want, whether it’s something that might trigger your food addiction or something you just don’t care for. It’s okay to say no.

No wonder kids feel so empowered. Too bad that many don’t stay that way. All the more reason to listen to your inner child.

10 Things to Remember on Those Days When Your Food Addiction is Winning

On those days when your food addiction totally takes over your life and you forget how to value yourself, here are some things to think about:

1.  It really is all about you. You are the superstar of your life. Don’t worry about people judging you. They don’t know anything about you. No one can or will ever be a better you than you can be. It’s your life and you are the most important person in it.  So who cares what they think?

2.  If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be good for anyone else. You can’t give what you don’t have, and no matter what they may say, most people want love and acceptance from other people. Learn to love and accept yourself and you will find it easy to love and accept others for who they are.

3.  It isn’t always about the why. Sometimes it’s about the who and the what. We can’t always have a reason for why things happen the way they do. You can go crazy trying to figure it out. Sometimes you have to ask yourself,  “Who is this about?”  How did it make you feel, and what was it that made you feel that way?

4.  Going within to find the true you will open your heart and ease your pain. Everything you’ll ever need to know is in your heart because that is your true essence. Seek your truth there, not in the artificial outside world.

5.  When you’re ready, you will act. It’s okay to wait but time won’t stand still for you. While you see your chance, take it. I think that was a lyric in a Steve Winwood song. Anyway, it’s true.

6.  You deserve a great life. Everybody does. Even if you can survive on less, you still deserve a great life.

7.  If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me. Don’t wait for destiny to drop in your lap.  Do the work and manifest your own destiny.

8.  No one ever digs out of a hole. Put down your shovel and reach out your hand. Everybody needs help at some time or another. Don’t be a martyr. Ask for help when you need it. The really great things always involve more than one person, even when only one person gets the credit.

9.  Learn acceptance and tolerance won’t be an issue. Take things and people as they are. Live in the moment. Make it count.

10.You are loved. You may not realize it, or feel it, or feel you deserve it, but you are loved. Know that. Stay strong and heart-centered. It will change your life.

Now, maybe you think these things are generic and you might not see how they relate to food addiction or emotional eaters. Well, guess what? We’re all people just trying to live our lives.

Stress affects everybody. Lately, everywhere I go I see people who are eating instead of speaking their truth. They wear their feelings on their whole body, not just on their sleeve, as we used to say when I was younger.

First and foremost, people are people, not rich people or poor people or fat people or good or bad people, just people. An extra 35 or 50 pounds can make you forget that and dumb down your dreams and expectations.

Don’t do that! Dream as big as you can. Accept who you are and show up for life. Do the work. And above all, be your own beautiful self.