Archive | February 2010

Two Stressful Days in the Life of a Food Addict

Feb15

I’m not going to talk about the days, just the result of the stress . That’s how we size things up anyway, isn’t it? It’s the outcome that matters.

I don’t know what it is that makes a person feel so much rage against themselves that they engage in self-destructive behaviors. There’s a point when the incident that caused the stress begins to blend with the person who is feeling it.

I think it is at that point where the line gets blurred and we temporarily become what the situation has made us feel. Suddenly, the emotional tension becomes too much and we snap like a rubber band that is stretched beyond its limit.

Betrayal is a terrible feeling. The feeling of being victimized, especially by someone we trust, is so overwhelming that we bury it deep inside. We try to pretend that it never happened while our families and friends urge us to just get over it and move on.

But the truth is that most people don’t just get over it, because it isn’t something you just get over. Then one day the stress builds and the feeling reminds you of the incident that started it all. And you snap.

So what does all this mean to a food addict? Well, I can tell you what it means to me. I don’t drink and I am an ex-smoker. I never did drugs of any kind. My addiction is a food addiction.

I don’t know how a drug addict feels. I never will and I don’t want to. The battle with foods is hard enough to win. Sometimes I win and sometimes I don’t.

This week at the job I work, there was a constant, unrelenting low-level stress. I am a person who needs a break once in a while.

On the first of the two most stressful days last week, I took home a box of chocolates which I  consumed in less than two hours. No judgments, please. I’m sharing.

The second fall-off-the-wagon-at-top-speed incident was the following day. I took home a package of black Twizzlers. Two hours later they were gone.

Two days in a row of steady, constant low-level stress turned into unmanageable high-level stress and my food addiction took over. I wanted to sleep but I couldn’t. I wanted to exercise but my hours were too long and I was too exhausted.

I needed a break but there was none to be had, so the trigger clicked and I couldn’t get out of the way in time. Within 24 hours, I was back at the store but my shift was only four hours and I had gotten some rest and a sense of accomplishment from my non-store work.

My interest in food or should I say in eating compulsively was gone and I could breathe again. Mental and emotional anxiety were replaced with inner calm.

Unlike other addictions, a food addiction can come and go in a matter of hours with only the unpleasant side effects that usually occur as a result of overeating.

It takes a lot to put me in that unsafe place where food is my only suit of armor. I don’t offer excuses but I do know that I have to get back on track fast and break the cycle as quickly as possible.

I guess I have some work to do.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Feb14

Days that are meant to celebrate love can be a big source of stress. Stress is at the root of all food addictions so the Big Love day can be quite a challenge for anyone with a binge eating problem (and no date).

The heart creates certain kinds of emotions. The mind creates other kinds of emotions. Most people don’t go off the deep end with food when they are feeling good about things.

It’s when the heart energy gives way to the mind energy that we feel out of control. When a food addict  feels out of control, the response is compulsive eating, or binge eating.

Some tasks that are no big deal for one person can be hell for another. That goes for certain days or holidays, relationships, and experiences. Stress affects everyone in different ways.

While stress can’t be avoided altogether, it is unproductive to place ourselves in harm’s way by entering into stressful activities and relationships that doom us to failure.

Therefore, we must think carefully about how we want to live our lives if we are to be free of the pain and heartache food addiction can cause.

When we thoughtfully consider how best our lives can be lived and resolve to find a way to live in this way, stress will give way to a comfort that food can never equal.

When balance is restored and the heart is once again in control, food will not be an issue any longer. For a person with a food addiction, finding that balance is critical in overcoming the need to eat compulsively whenever we are stressed.

Another Candy Day

Feb13

Everyone was buying cards and candy at the store today. Lots and lots of candy. How can you kick the habit when every time you turn around, there’s another reason to eat for no reason except to celebrate a reason to eat.

Yeah, it does sound confusing, but it’s true. What can I say? Our society revolves around eating, not food, but eating.

So what’s a food addict to do? You can’t give up everything but if you give in to temptation, how do you do it without falling off the wagon? I can’t answer that one all by myself, so if anyone has a comment, chime in and share it.

Food addicts, emotional eaters, and overeaters share enough rough patches. We need our special days too, those days when we can just enjoy life without all the woulda, coulda, shouldas haunting us every time we take a bite.

Since food happens to be part of life, I guess we’ll just have to find a way to work things out so we can enjoy that too, even on the special days.

Overeating? Don’t Even Start!

Feb12

Don’t kid yourself. The best way to keep overeating from burying you is to just not start. It’s easy to convince yourself that a little extra pasta  won’t hurt.

A few more M & M’s, eating just enough ice cream to make it look even in the carton,  or one more candy from a box of chocolates is just enough to send you over the edge, so don’t start.

Eating stops when your stomach signals you that it is full. Overeating starts when we ignore the body’s signals. Cross that fine line and you’re in trouble.

So don’t cross it. Ha! Easier said than done. So what’s the answer? Can you repeat the question?

And that is precisely the kind of self-talk that gets us into the overeating mess. And it is a mess, that’s for sure. Easy to get into and hard to get out of, just like any other habit.

And therein lies the answer. Don’t even start letting it become a habit. As soon as you recognize that you are overeating, stop.

Focus on recognizing when you begin to overeat. Recognizing is not the same as realizing. Recognizing means you can see it coming and can do something about it. Realizing means you waited too long.

While you see your chance, take it. Stop overeating before it becomes a habit. If you can do that, you will buy yourself some time to figure out a real solution and avoid a real problem.

I’m talking about obesity. Habitual overeating is what gives obesity its foothold. If you have the discipline to stop the overeating cycle at the recognition stage, you will be empowered to one day break it altogether and create your life anew.