Tag Archive | Food Addict

Two Stressful Days in the Life of a Food Addict

Feb15

I’m not going to talk about the days, just the result of the stress . That’s how we size things up anyway, isn’t it? It’s the outcome that matters.

I don’t know what it is that makes a person feel so much rage against themselves that they engage in self-destructive behaviors. There’s a point when the incident that caused the stress begins to blend with the person who is feeling it.

I think it is at that point where the line gets blurred and we temporarily become what the situation has made us feel. Suddenly, the emotional tension becomes too much and we snap like a rubber band that is stretched beyond its limit.

Betrayal is a terrible feeling. The feeling of being victimized, especially by someone we trust, is so overwhelming that we bury it deep inside. We try to pretend that it never happened while our families and friends urge us to just get over it and move on.

But the truth is that most people don’t just get over it, because it isn’t something you just get over. Then one day the stress builds and the feeling reminds you of the incident that started it all. And you snap.

So what does all this mean to a food addict? Well, I can tell you what it means to me. I don’t drink and I am an ex-smoker. I never did drugs of any kind. My addiction is a food addiction.

I don’t know how a drug addict feels. I never will and I don’t want to. The battle with foods is hard enough to win. Sometimes I win and sometimes I don’t.

This week at the job I work, there was a constant, unrelenting low-level stress. I am a person who needs a break once in a while.

On the first of the two most stressful days last week, I took home a box of chocolates which I  consumed in less than two hours. No judgments, please. I’m sharing.

The second fall-off-the-wagon-at-top-speed incident was the following day. I took home a package of black Twizzlers. Two hours later they were gone.

Two days in a row of steady, constant low-level stress turned into unmanageable high-level stress and my food addiction took over. I wanted to sleep but I couldn’t. I wanted to exercise but my hours were too long and I was too exhausted.

I needed a break but there was none to be had, so the trigger clicked and I couldn’t get out of the way in time. Within 24 hours, I was back at the store but my shift was only four hours and I had gotten some rest and a sense of accomplishment from my non-store work.

My interest in food or should I say in eating compulsively was gone and I could breathe again. Mental and emotional anxiety were replaced with inner calm.

Unlike other addictions, a food addiction can come and go in a matter of hours with only the unpleasant side effects that usually occur as a result of overeating.

It takes a lot to put me in that unsafe place where food is my only suit of armor. I don’t offer excuses but I do know that I have to get back on track fast and break the cycle as quickly as possible.

I guess I have some work to do.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Feb14

Days that are meant to celebrate love can be a big source of stress. Stress is at the root of all food addictions so the Big Love day can be quite a challenge for anyone with a binge eating problem (and no date).

The heart creates certain kinds of emotions. The mind creates other kinds of emotions. Most people don’t go off the deep end with food when they are feeling good about things.

It’s when the heart energy gives way to the mind energy that we feel out of control. When a food addict  feels out of control, the response is compulsive eating, or binge eating.

Some tasks that are no big deal for one person can be hell for another. That goes for certain days or holidays, relationships, and experiences. Stress affects everyone in different ways.

While stress can’t be avoided altogether, it is unproductive to place ourselves in harm’s way by entering into stressful activities and relationships that doom us to failure.

Therefore, we must think carefully about how we want to live our lives if we are to be free of the pain and heartache food addiction can cause.

When we thoughtfully consider how best our lives can be lived and resolve to find a way to live in this way, stress will give way to a comfort that food can never equal.

When balance is restored and the heart is once again in control, food will not be an issue any longer. For a person with a food addiction, finding that balance is critical in overcoming the need to eat compulsively whenever we are stressed.

Advice for Food Addicts: Spit It Out

Feb9

An elderly doctor gave me some advice years ago that I was reminded of today. He had retired from his medical practice of nearly half a century and had begun treating patients using nutritional therapies.

This was in the 70’s when nutritional medicine was a more secretive practice than it is today. On one of my evening visits to his Trenton, New Jersey office, Dr. Getlen diagnosed my hypoglycemia.

Until that time, other doctors had attributed my symptoms to a variety of things. Among their suggested diagnoses were newlywed shell shock and a possible brain tumor. I’m not kidding.

That same night I confided to Dr. Getlen that I ate uncontrollably whenever I felt nervous. We didn’t call it stress back then. We didn’t call ourselves emotional eaters or food addicts in those days either.

Whenever my blood sugar would drop, I would crave sweets. Once the addictive feelings began, I ate until the candy was gone. Food addiction creates more problems than just weight gain, and no one knows that better than me.

Today, I was watching a small child eat candy at the urging of her mother. “Try this one, Honey.” The child chewed the jellied candy vigorously and then spit it out. She did this repeatedly until the woman threatened to keep all the candy for herself. No comment on that one.

She asked the little girl why she kept spitting out the candy. The little girl replied very politely and matter-of-factly, “I already tasted it”.

Suddenly, Dr. Getlen’s words came back to me. He told me how to eat what I wanted without having to feel guilty about eating or worrying about gaining weight.

He told me that when I got the urge to overeat sweets to do it. He said to be sure to chew whatever I ate thoroughly and savor every bite.

Then, to my surprise and puzzlement, he told me not to swallow the food, but instead to spit it out. He said it was my mind that was in control and it was only interested in pleasing my taste buds.

He was right. I did it and it worked, especially with jelly beans. That little girl knew the secret and observing her, I was reminded of it.

It may sound like a terrible waste to spit out the food, and it would be rather disgusting if you did it at a restaurant.

The object of the exercise, however, is to satisfy your hunger without turning your body into a garbage dump. So, try it and see if it works for you too. But only at home.

P.S. It doesn’t work with ice cream.

Food Addicts: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Jan16

I recently made the decision to take a retail job close to home. It was a big change from the corporate and executive positions I have held in the past.

This was a huge decision but I made the choice because I wanted to continue working on establishing an online business. In the big picture of my new life, this entry level position accomplishes what a corporate position cannot even offer.

As a food addict, I didn’t want to think of the stress I was heading into. How could I survive? I could see myself binging and stressing as I dealt with new tasks that require manual dexterity. My life would be very different.

And then something miraculous happened to put things in perspective.  I found myself right in the moment, focusing on what was important at that time, including when I had to eat. I did my work in the moment. I ate when I was supposed to, on time.

Whatever I was doing at the moment had 100% of my attention without the double-edged sword of multi-tasking hanging over my head. And the world didn’t stop.

My managers don’t bully me. My co-workers smile and speak kindly. They help me learn and they respect me. At the end of the day, I have accomplished something by my own standards as well as those of others.

The first night I ate for four hours straight while listening to “poor you’s” from former networking buddies who offered to do whatever they could to help me get back to where I was.

But when I thought about it–no.  I passed that turnoff for a reason, and I’m moving on. I don’t want to go back to a place where I was always hungry, starving for something and substituting food for what I really wanted.

I believe it was Sir Winston Churchill who once said that it is not always enough to do your best, that sometimes one must do what is required. When you step up to the plate, you can also step away from the plate.

Food has a role in my survival but only to provide me with the energy I need to live a productive and healthy life. For the past several days since I started this job, I have only craved food when I went too long without eating.

I find myself adamantly refusing to eat junk food or snack food during that small, off-the-clock lunch window. Out loud I say, “I need real food; I want real food.”

With huge changes occuring in my life, my stress level is lower than it has been in decades. The food addictions bother me less than when I encountered what now seem to be the least little frustrations.

Does that mean I’ll never binge again, that I will banish my food addiction forever? I doubt it, but for the moment, who cares? Forget one day at a time. I’ll take one moment at a time. That I can handle.

Maybe overcoming the emotional eating urges and the food addictions is all about living and in the moment and doing what is required. Can it be possibly that simple?

I don’t know. Don’t sweat the small stuff and let’s find out.