Why don’t food addicts just quit cold turkey? Quit what? Food? I don’t think so. But what is this thing with overeating? Why can’t they just stop when they’re full?

Maybe because they don’t always feel full. Maybe they don’t know that they’re full. Maybe because they’re not full.

Not all food addicts are overweight, obese or just fat–choose whichever  label you apply to yourself. Some aren’t fat at all.

Just because you don’t gain weight when you overeat doesn’t mean that you’re any less vulnerable when it comes to food addictions.

One of my slender friends and I were talking about this the other night. When you think of overeating as stuffing yourself, the picture gets clearer.

Stuffing down your emotions like you would stuff an item deep into a bag filled with other things in an effort to hide it only hides it from others, not yourself.

A part of you always knows it’s there, even if you don’t remember what it is you hid or where you hid it. The things we see on the outside are a reflection of what is within us.

For food addicts, the key is to find out what it is you’re really stuffing down when you are in an overeating frenzy. If you hide a cheater food, you won’t even want it. When you remember where it is, you will crave it.

I used to buy a big bag of cheese curls and eat the entire bag, no matter how full I felt or how uncomfortable it made my stomach feel. I didn’t stop until I had eaten every salty crumb. When the bag was empty, I felt satisfied.

One night I stopped by the store on my way back from a late shift at work. The store was out of the brand I wanted. I used to eat whatever was available when I first confronted my food addiction, but over time, I became more discriminating, or particular at least.

There was only a small bag of the item which, after searching the shelves without success for the larger bag I usually purchased and consumed, I finally bought. It was the same brand, only about 1/5 the size.

I plopped myself down in front of some mindless TV show, ate the bag of cheese curls, got up and turned off the TV, brushed and flossed and got ready for bed.

My job was very stressful, as was the two hour drive there and back every day. At that time of night, I just wanted to forget my day and get ready for the next one.

I knew I was a food addict and sometimes I didn’t want to control it. I just didn’t care. It’s always about the blood sugar, the liver. Balance, hormones, metabolism–the liver is involved is all the processes.

What people without food addictions don’t understand is that stress is like spoon-feeding yourself refined sugar and unless you work it off, and fast, it will do you in physically, mentally, and spiritually.

As for the slender overeaters, you can eat junk food, health food, juice, anything that will pass as a nutrient, something to quell your hunger and fill the emptiness. Less is not more for a food addict. You have to eat it all.

That’s what I learned the night I bought the small bag of cheese curls. I went through the same routine I had many other nights. When the bag was emply, I was okay.

It wasn’t about how much I ate. It was about having it all, not stopping until I had every bite. It wasn’t about the size of the package. It was about not having to share it with anyone, having it all to myself.

I started packaging my food in small packages after that. There are some things I won’t keep at the house, like bread. Maybe some bagels once in a while, but if I have a loaf of bread in the house, it will be gone in less than 24 hours.

Sometimes food addicts use overeating as a strategy for getting all the temptation out of the way so they won’t have to deal with it. Lots of luck on that one.

It’s temptation all right but it has nothing to do with food. Food is just the pacifier while you’re waiting to deal with the real cause of your food addiction.

Removing a food addict’s pacifier may keep her or him from using it but it won’t make the wound go away. Healing the emotional trauma will heal the food addiction.

Find out what the real thing is. Why are you overeating? Eating over and over again the same thing until it’s gone. What is happening over and over again that you are stuffing down with food? What are you trying to replace with food?

A therapist might be able to help you find out. Overeating can be dangerous. Food addiction can be dangerous. But hidden trauma that is a trigger for the food addict can be the most dangerous of all.

Everyone should have something that they don’t have to share with anyone, something special, even if it is only a feeling. Even if it’s only a 3.5 ounce bag of cheese curls.

Rejection is often named as one of the causes of food addictions, along with allergies, low self-esteem and depression.

Often when I have felt rejection, it was because I didn’t feel like I belonged. Even when nobody said or did anything to make me feel rejected, I felt like I was on the outside looking in.

Emotions have a way of ganging up on you and, when they do, some of us stuff down our feelings with food. They don’t stay down long so you keep stuffing until the trigger feelings pass.

And when they do pass, as they always do, you not only can’t remember what you ate, you can’t even remember that you ate. That right there should be your wake-up call.

I have often sought comfort from my friends in the refrigerator. Comfort is the operative word here. When you are in a situation where you cannot find comfort, or ease your stress or get relief from emotional tension, there can be a feeling of rejection.

Rejection is feeling like you don’t belong, like you are not wanted or needed, like you are being excluded, like you are not welcome.

When you are not able to eat or go to the bathroom when your body needs to, or honor a family commitment that is important to you, you feel uncomfortable. The next time you feel these physical stressors, see if you don’t feel rejected.

The truth is, sometimes we reject ourselves. Rejection is the opposite of acceptance. If we do not feel accepted, we feel rejected.

When I decided to work on the rejection thing a few years ago, I took a job as an inbound telemarketer and remained in the position for four years. Anybody can tell me “No” now, and I couldn’t care less.

It isn’t about them. They have a right to say no. Not everyone wants what we have to offer. That’s life.

Your life is about you and you have the  starring role in it. You don’t get an understudy. It’s all about you.

You are the headliner. It is your reality and everybody else is just a guest. If they don’t like it, they can leave and you will still be you.

I remember the days when I would buy a Snickers bar and spend five minutes in a checkout line explaining to the cashier that it wasn’t for me, like it was any of her business anyway.

Why would I think that I needed her approval to eat a darned candy bar? Like Georgia Bird (Queen Latifah) says in “The Last Holiday”, what world was I living in?

This world has a lot of disagreeable things if you’re looking for someone or something to blame for your predicament. There is no blame to be had. Blame is a thing of the past. March your beautiful self back to the present.

You know I’m going to say it again. Hurry back to your heart. Go within, as they say.You’ll be safe there. Love always makes you feel safe.

You are perfection. No creator I have ever known had anything but unconditional love for his, her, or its creation. We’re the Little Brains that like to judge things and put all the pieces neatly together.

Well, life doesn’t always fit like that because the pieces are changing all the time. You are a work in progress, and you always will be.

If you’re fat now, you don’t need to stay fat. What you do need to do is  accept some of that Divine Love that is flowing in your heart and coax it out and let it start spilling all over your life.

Accept yourself and just carry on. When I figure out how to do it, I’m going to share some really great health information and products that helped me with bouts of depression and stress, and getting my eating under control.

For now, practice this on the next person who makes a disparaging remark or criticizes you:  Say “I reject that”. And just keep saying it until they shut up.

It works better than trying to defend yourself against the remark and  you will feel pretty darn good in the process.